Today is the day before thanksgiving and I took the day off from work. Not long back, I used to be so addicted to work and could never enjoy a day off without thinking about work. Now by God’s grace, I am delivered from work addiction. I work sincerely during the work hours. But on my days off, I keep work off my mind and day. So unusually, I started cleaning the house right from morning on.
I have two boys – one teen and one tween. I am not that incredibly responsible kind of mom. I grew up as the only child to my parents. I never did any much chores while growing up. And once I had my own family, I got to learn on my own. Somehow, I didn’t want my kids to end up not knowing to do any chores. Also probably because I am a lazy kind of mom, I got them to do some of the stuff on their own, like washing their plates after eating, washing and folding their laundry, taking the trash out etc. In a way that relieves me from so many such responsibilities, which probably I will not be very diligent in keeping up. It is definitely a great idea to teach them the basic work for their survival. One chore my kids had a late start on is cleaning their bathroom. I didn’t have the stamina to handle their whining if I asked them to start cleaning, so I kept continuing to clean their bathroom. I would feel so frustrated seeing the way they leave the sink and the entire bathroom so filthy. A few months back, I had enough and I put down a schedule for the kids to take turn every 2 weeks and clean their bathroom. I demonstrated once to them and from next time, they were expected to do on their own.
I would stay away from checking their bathroom as I didn’t want to end up cleaning again. Today, the day before thanksgiving, as I took a peep into their bathroom and honestly I was amazed. Their bathroom actually was clean, lot cleaner than I have ever seen before. I just saw a toothpaste cover, deodorant protector covers etc still sitting on the sink. I couldn’t help but appreciate them and told them that as I am happy to see this, I will do a complimentary cleaning.
That got me to think that how our spiritual walk also needs a constant check and cleaning. Previously, when left unattended, their bathroom gets cleaned after it gets lot unclean. Once they started being consist in cleaning, the easier it got each time, as there is less filth piled up. If we would constantly do self-analysis comparing with the Word of God, the lesser sin gets piled up. Constant repentance helps us have a cleaner relationship with Jesus.
Psalm 139:23,24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Why do Christians who follow and believe in Jesus talk about sin all the time? For the world who is busy living their lives trying to make more and more money, increase their status in the world and climb up the ladders of power, it would seem strange and idiotic when Christians speak about sin and repentance all the time. We all know one fact that will happen to everyone who lives in this world – one day death will meet every single one of us. Can we take any of the above mentioned things with us? NO. When we plan so much for a mere vacation we take in this world, making sure we know where we will stay, the whereabouts of the place, where we should go and what we should do, should we not know what happens when our life in this world ends?
Psalm 144:4 Man is like a breath; His days are like a passing shadow.
Does this not sound true? In Mathematics, whether we like it or not, have we all not come across how the mathematicians prove theorems? A theorem is a result that has been proved to be true. Bible is the Word of God which is proved to be true. From the first page till the last page, every Word is God breathed. And we have the privilege to read it, learn it, most importantly follow it – only till we have our breath. Once our breath stops, the timer stops and then the eternity is determined by whether we chose to walk by the Word of God or not. In this age of technology, the Word of God is at everyone’s finger’s reach. May we not take for granted the greatest privilege God has given us – His Word and His Son Jesus who died on the cross for our sins! AMEN!
Our church brings together all worship teams which are part of our various church services through a meet on a monthly basis so we all get an opportunity to meet and know each other and learn and grow. Being part of Indian worship team, I always felt too small in knowledge and skills compared to the main worship team who are simply phenomenal. After bailing out couple times, I decided that I should attend the next time. This time was a fun event with chili competition and costume competition. For some reason, my eyes got drawn towards the chili competition. Ideally I am not the kind who participates in any competition. And I have not made proper chili before. The only closest to chili I have made is dump the soaked beans and a packet chili powder in the crockpot and cook which doesn’t sell well at my home. But still, I somehow felt interested in signing up for the competition because I love to take food to church. I consider that a blessing.
As the day of the event neared, I started to feel very nervous. I have never gone for such meets before and I felt inadequate to be part of this meet. On the day of the event, I started to feel like my beginning days in the worship team. Both these experiences seemed very similar. I joined the worship team purely out of gratitude towards God for what He has done in my life and not because of my talent or skill. So initially I was clueless on how to integrate with the music and sing. I felt the same way for this competition because I had no idea on how to make a real chili or if it is tastes the expected way. That morning I prayed earnestly that God would not put me to shame and people would try my chili. By God’s grace I came across a recipe that sounded good for traditional chili and I followed it.
It looked good and smelled good, but still I had not much idea on what it should taste like to be an authentic chili. I gave 2 bowls with few spoonful chili to my sons to try the taste. They both said that it tasted good and they wanted to try more.Then I headed to church as a nervous wreck. My younger son came with me to help bring the slow cooker and as we kept it there, he again asked if there would be left over. I didn’t answer as my plight was that will any one try and like it even. I had no idea on how such competition would be held. My interest was not on the competition part or the winning part. I just had the interest to take food to church. But felt clueless on what to expect there.
I felt nervous just as how I started in the worship team. I would like to share the story of how I started off in the worship team. Around 2006, a preacher came from India. We were part of a small prayer group and a friend who led worship asked me also to be part of worship team which had just 3 or 4 women. I refused so strongly that I cannot. But I could not sleep that night. I felt God asking me the question “I gave you one opportunity to glorify Me and is that how you respond?”. And I kept replying, “Lord, how can I of all people go to the front and sing? You know that I have anxiety issues and then how can I possibly do”. But God wouldn’t address my justification but He kept asking me the same question. I felt like I denied Jesus that day by refusing in such a strong way about worship. I felt that I was getting no where in this debate and I was losing sleep too. So finally I said, “Ok Lord. Tomorrow I will tell him that I can be part of the worship” and then I slept. I did take part in the worship with so much nervousness. And that day, the preacher prophesied about me. That was the first time I got a prophecy so I was overwhelmed and was in tears and so could not remember most of what he said. I remembered only one line that God will fill my mouth with words.
A decade later, when Indian church was started as part of the American church, the Pastor in Indian church asked me to be part of the worship team. This time I had no debate about being part of the worship time as I have gone through the drill earlier. Because God had been so faithful in my life and had been my Ebenezer and carried me thus far, so I asked myself, “How can I of all people say No to this?”. Even though I didn’t have music knowledge or skills, I readily said yes. God has brought me a long way from where I started and now I earnestly pray to be anointed to do worship in a way that brings pleasing aroma unto His presence.
Back to my chili story, people did try my chili too. There were few people who even so graciously asked which one I brought and they tried that. I told them that this is my first time making chili like this. And there were 5 categories for prizes – Zesty/Spicy, Richest/Thickest, Most Creative, Most like Mom’s(traditional) and Best Overall. To my great surprise, I got the prize for ‘Richest/Thickest’. Usually if I take food to church, I would be very happy if all my food gets over with no left over meaning people liked it. This time, more than receiving a prize, which even could have been as encouraging a newbie, what I felt so happy about is that most of my chili got over and when I brought the crockpot home, both my sons had just enough leftover to test elaborately this time.
And I remembered my meditation part over which I prayed in the morning for my chili. Luke 9:17 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. I had just enough left over for both my kids to have. How much attention God gives even to the details!
Also, this is a great motivation for me to do something which I had put on the back burner for sometime now. I had this desire to cook hot food for homeless people in the streets. I didn’t do it yet. But making this chili which turned out good is like a reminder to me from God to put into effect as it is soon going to be winter and a hot meal would be much benefited for people in need. Praising God for His sweet presence in my littlest things! AMEN!
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Cookie is our one year old puppy. I truly believe that he is God given gift for us, to ease me a bit through stressful days. As first time pet owners, we did miss out big time on teaching him commands and obedience. Staying within the boundary of the house, there is not much need to test his obedience skills.
We love camping trips and have gone for 3 years till the pandemic lockdown happened in 2020. I did miss camping trips and didn’t know when we could go again. Suddenly, it worked out as a friend initiated the conversation and plans started making effect and we got to go on our camping trip. We took Cookie with us. I had bought a basket for Cookie to ride with me in the bike. I myself am a very amateur bike rider. In my young age, I did not have the need to learn to ride the bike. Only few years back, I learnt to ride the bike as I have two boys and I didn’t want to be left behind when they all went biking. So, putting my trust is the Lord, I learnt to ride the bike at this age which itself is a miracle. But I can ride only my bike. I can’t just take anyone’s bike and ride. My height and lack of skills makes it scary for me to ride on unknown bikes.
We set up our tents on Friday evening. I had not done any biking during the entire of last year and this year. So biking skills on my own bike had become rusty and Cookie felt terrified to sit inside the basket. It was hard and scary for me to pedal with him trying to jump off from the basket. The camping area suddenly got so dark and we were biking to find the rest rooms. My friend suggested to try her daughter’s bike while my husband took my bike with Cookie. My friend’s daughter’s bike was right size for me and I was able to ride it but it got pitch dark. With my rusty skills on a different bike in pitch dark, I felt scared that I would fall off and hurt myself. So as I was riding in pitch dark not really knowing how to ride it and what is on the way, I prayed and asked God to help me to be able to ride without falling off. And the God whom I know who is always my very present help in my time of need did help me. I made it safe back to the tent.
The next day when both the families started off with the bike, I did a few trials with Cookie, all by myself. Again, I prayed that Cookie would stay still inside the basket without jumping off. And he did stay still this time. And I got the hang of riding with him. As it was hard for me to pedal with him for long, I just did a few back and forth rides close to the tent. Though I could not have gone biking for miles, I felt happy to have made use of the basket and to be able to even do short trips with Cookie. I thank God for answered prayers, even the smallest ones. In fact, I praise God more when He answers the smallest of prayers because that lets me know that He is very close to my prayers whenever I cry out to Him.
Psalm 20:1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. Amen!
John 1:4,5 In Him(Jesus) was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
In the above verse, Jesus is called the light that shines in the darkness. And Jesus calls His followers, that is us, that we are the light of the world.
Mathew 5:14, 16 You are the light of the world. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
Even in a pitch dark place, a small candle makes a mighty difference. The light from a small candle can drive away the darkness and bring clarity to our eyes. Our spiritual light should grow from a candle to a lighthouse, shining the light so bright so that the lost can find their way back to the Way, the Truth and the Life, that is, Jesus Christ. Our Spiritual light is not to be kept hidden. Our light is not a personal light. It is to shine so bright for others to find their way to Christ. John 7:38 Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water”. Our heart should overflow with the living water so that we cannot contain it within us.
Mathew 5:14,15 A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.
Rain or shine, how can we be a light continuously? Referring to Mathew 25:1-13, we need to be like the five wise virgins who took oil in their vessels with their lamps.
What kind of oil do we need to be a light in this evil world? Anointing oil is what I want. Isaiah 10:27 It shall come to pass in that day that his burden will be taken away from your shoulder, and his yoke from your neck, andthe yoke will be destroyed because of the anointing oil.
Psalm 23:5 You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. The anointing oil should overflow from within us and break the yokes of people around us.
2 Kings 3:17 For thus says the LORD:’You shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, so that you, your cattle, and your animals may drink.’ 18. And this is a simple matter in the sight of the LORD; He will also deliver the Moabites into your hand.
For the valley to be filled with water, first they had to make that valley full of ditches. Verse 16 says “Thus says the LORD:’Make this valley full of ditches. “
King Jehoram of Israel took King Jehoshaphat of Judah and the King of Edom in a war against the King of Moab. They went by the way of the Wilderness of Edom. They marched on that route for seven days; and there was no water for the army, nor for the animals that followed them. Prophet Elisha was consulted to ask of the LORD for a solution. Elisha asked to bring a musician. As the musician played, the hand of the LORD came upon him. Referring back to the verses 17 and 18, after seven days of wandering without water, as they came to a point of seeking God versus dying in thirst, God gives the solution and even guarantees them victory in war which they did not ask because at that point living itself was at stake. Next morning, when the grain offering was offered, that suddenly water came by way of Edom, and the land was filled with water. Just as the LORD said, it was as simple as that.
The Moabites rose up early in the morning, and the sun was shining on the water; and the Moabites saw the water as red as blood. Moabites thought the blood was because the Israelite armies killed each other and hurried to gather Israelites’ plunder. When the Moabites came to the camp of Israel, Israel rose up and attacked the Moabites, so that they fled before them.
Ditches had to be dug before God could provide water. If there were no ditches, there would be no room to hold the water. If we look at the Old Testament great people, most of them were the outcome of tremendous shortcoming or lack undergone by someone. Samuel was born because of the emptiness experienced by Hannah. Isaac became a reward for Abraham after a really long wait. Jacob became Israel in his broken lonely desperate fearful moment. The greatest prophet of New Testament, John the Baptist, was born at the old age of Zechariah and Elizabeth who lived a righteous life before the LORD. When we undergo tremendous shortcoming in any area of our life, we are worried and we fret. We think low and inadequate of ourselves. We undergo shortcoming not always because God is disciplining us. If it is because of God’s disciplining, once we learn the lesson, He is our good father who rewards us. Even after righteous living, if we still undergo tremendous lack or shortcoming, that is for God to bring about some amazing blessing out of that. The above characters of the Bible are examples for that.
We just continue to do our part in serving God in all righteousness and God will definitely do His part in His time according to His will and plan. We might not always see the signs of it. Neither wind nor rain brought the water. Israelites did their part by giving the grain offering and the water gushed into those valleys which quenched the thirst of the three armies and their animals and also caused confusion on their enemies and with no war done, the enemies were defeated. The same water that quenched the thirst of God’s children destroyed His enemies by causing confusion among themselves. It all depends on “Are we on God’s side or His enemies side? Do we want to be taken care by God or destroyed by God? Choice is ours. There are only two sides- God’s side or the opposite side. There is no neutral ground”. Abundance is preceded by lack in order for us to see God’s hands in it. So let us not despise the lack. Let us praise God in advance for the abundant blessing that follows the lack. Amen!
Today is our 18th marriage anniversary. Life isn’t easy. Marriage isn’t easy. Parenting isn’t easy. Christian walk isn’t easy. It started at the garden of Eden itself. Till we are in this side of eternity, everything is hard because of our rebellion and disobedience before God.But by the saving grace of God alone, we continue to run the race, without giving up. We fall. We break down. We get bruised and wounded. We bear the scars. But Jesus is right beside us, walking with us, running with us, cheering us on, picking us up when we fall, and promising to see us through till the finish line.
I used to mark and make all occasions like birthdays, anniversary etc in our family special. As time went by, not seeing much meaning in all these rituals, like baking a cake, cooking special food, buying gifts hoping to surprise etc., this year, I did none of the above. Because I feel, more than any of these activities, walking according to God’s heart and not on my own fleshly will is more important.
I feel, marriage starts off in a nice biking trail which is flat and plain, and we whistle and hum along as we ride. As time goes by, the trail turns into valleys and mountain tops, and we have to catch and juggle lots of baggages thrown at us. Down the line, as we keep going, it seems like we end up biking uphill huffing and puffing, towards each milestone. It is not just the spiritual walk that displays the invisible warfares for which we are asked to put on the armor of God everyday. Spiritual warfare attacks all areas of our life. Marriage is what God instituted as the first thing after He created everything else. So it is extremely important in His eyes. No wonder, the devil attacks Christian marriages all the time, especially when we mindfully strive to walk with the LORD.
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. If my spiritual walk was all about me reading the Word, Praying and walking with the LORD, it probably would not be as hard. But it involves all aspects of my life – marriage, parenting, workplace, my relationship with others etc. I am to bear the fruit of the Spirit in all these areas without taking a break. That would mean that I am supposed to be on a vigilant watch 24/7 for the schemes and attacks of the enemy of my soul. In my case, I have come to realize, the devil places hurts right before such occasions in my heart and gets my spirit downcast, which leads to self-pity, and my withdrawal from others, and moping in my hurt.
When I am hurt, in my flesh, I love to make others miserable as well. I would tend to withdraw from family, refuse to take part in any happiness and would recite in my heart about how I am going to act. But these days, by God’s grace and His Holy Spirit at work in my heart, I am a lot mindful about what Jesus would want me to do. If I do in my will, I know perfectly well what I would want to do. But, these days, I get reminded to ask,”LORD, this is how I feel. I am hurt in these areas. This is how I want to act on this occasion and make their lives miserable. But what do You want me to do? Because, what You want is more important to me than satisfying my petty grudges”.
As I started praying today morning, I started off with my venting out my hurts to God. The devil’s tactic is to make me feel unworthy of any good things, by whispering in my ear to not to accept any kindness shown towards me, and to withdraw from the family emotionally, thereby making them miserable too. A little into venting out in prayer, I realized that and said, “LORD, I give this day in Your hands. I know this much that if I hold this day in my hand, I will perfectly well ruin it. Would You show me what You can do with this day for me?”.
Prayers are mighty weapons, my friends! And prayerful friends are mighty warriors! My prayer friend texted me and asked if she can pray for me. I gladly said yes. As she was praying, I realized, if I keep the petty complaints aside, there is always so much to be grateful for. We look around us and see the many different and very difficult circumstances that so many people are going through. Compared to those, our little hurts are put into perspective. The devil wants to keep us in a complaining and a whining mode. However, may God help us to continually remember to thank and worship and praise Him instead.
My husband loves to buy gifts for me for special occasions. But I would feel so unworthy to accept the gift. Because I had asked God to help me to do the right thing according to His heart, as my husband mentioned about going out for lunch and to go pick a gift, I nodded quietly without opposing him. I put aside my fleshly will and yielded to choose peace. Similarly, Christ’s gift of salvation is offered to us freely, as Christ is always willing to redeem and forgive those who come to Him humbly and earnestly. The devil instead whispers in our ears, reminding us of all our shortcomings to make us feel unworthy. But Jesus has paid the price on the cross in an unimaginably painful way. So let us not give ear to the devil’s lies but with a grateful heart accept the free gift Jesus offers us with arms wide open.
Prayers are mighty weapons. Just as I asked God to take the day and show me what He can do with it for me, He did! He gave me a good anniversary day! I got to experience an instant reward from God. My husband and I picked up a nice gift for both of us which was for almost regular price with no discounts. But the shop attendant said that they can match the price with Amazon for 15 days. When we checked Amazon while being at the shop, there was no price reduction in Amazon. So we thought we will keep an eye for the next 15 days. We got home after half hour and we checked Amazon again, and to our great surprise, there was a price reduction for the same item, so together we saved a pretty big amount. To me, that was a reward that came from God.
Yes, the daily struggles would still continue. We would still fall, bear bruises and wounds and carry the scars. Love God and love others as yourself are the two greatest commandments. Loving God is even easier because He is always good and perfect. But loving people is not always easy because we are all imperfect and I am one who would love “my way or the highway”. We deal with imperfect people as imperfect people. But Jesus will still continue to be right beside us, walking with us, cheering for us, without forsaking us, and seeing us through till we reach and cross the finish line!! All glory be to Him alone! Amen
Shoes! Women’s weakness. I see, men’s too! We all get drawn towards other shoes, don’t we? We feel tempted to buy the shoes that others wear.
And in life, we all come with our own situations, circumstances, challenges, mountain tops, mostly valleys and what not. And we all walk in our own shoes, often wanting to be in others shoes, assuming that they have better shoes and better paths in life. When asked “How are you doing?”, most of the times, don’t we all just lie with a smile. Regardless of how we really are doing, we reply with the best smile “I am doing good. How about you?”. Outwardly when we see others, we think others cruise in their lives while we paddle hard and we want to be in their shoes rather than ours, as ours seem painful and blistery.
Would you want to be in my shoes? Disregard my smile as I talk. Disregard the almost perfect pictures that I post in social media. If you get to know my walks of life, the valleys that I am mostly on, and rarely a mountain top, would anyone want to be in my shoes? ?
I guess that is the case with most peoples’ walk, we just don’t see from the outside. All we see is perfect smiles and “I am good. Thank you”.
No matter how painful the valleys are and how many blisters we get in these shoes that we are in, I am thankful to God and God alone, for never forsaking me in any of the valleys, for drawing me closer to Him in each valley and never letting go of my hand. I have learnt that valleys are places where no one in this world can accompany us, except God. And He is more than enough. His Grace is sufficient.
Yet there is one place where I can remove my shoes and I can break my heart and pour out my tears – on my knees in Prayer. When I pour my heart out, God is so faithful that He answers. I have felt incredibly awed by ways that He lets me know that He sees me. He lets me know that He sees my tears – my EL ROI- the God who sees me. The One who saw Hagar’s tears in the desert – He sees my tears too. The One who saw Hannah’s tears at the altar – He sees my tears too. And I am amazed by how He sends me a message that He sees and my tears are not wasted.
One Sunday, when I was going through too much, I went a little early to church, just so I could pray. I sat at an end seat as usual and I just cried as I prayed. Tears rolling down my eyes, as I opened my eyes, a miracle happened. An elderly white lady was coming up the stairs just then. I am amazed by the timing. She saw me and my tears. In this country, where people are more interested in giving “space” , this lady looked at me and my tears. She, to my surprise, came over and sat down near me on the stairs next to me. And she asked how I was doing. I said my problem in 3 sentences. She gave me a tight hug and started praying, still hugging me tight as she prayed. My cries started to quiet down and I felt God’s peace. To me, it is God’s way of letting me know that He sent me comfort. I serve a God who is just too good, too sweeter than honey. So, taste and see that the LORD is good.
Psalm 56:8 You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?
Psalm 139:13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.
15. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.
Psalm 23:4. Though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 34:1 I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
I am thankful for the shoes God has put me in.
Psalm 18:33 He makes my feet like the feet of the deer, and sets me on my high places.
Cookie is our puppy who came into our family as a birthday gift for my son. Cookie was a miraculous provision by God. We did know that a puppy came with a lot of responsibilities. However, the responsibility of taking care of a puppy seemed easier when compared to the suffocation I felt during the Pandemic quarantine. Cookie is a very furry breed and whenever he comes back from grooming, once in a couple of months, he comes back with all the fur shaved off. It was very hard to see him with no fur and I could also sense that he felt stressed with the visit to the groomer and the loss of fur each time. I consequently kept postponing his next visit to the groomer. His grooming needs were hence, past overdue, and although we tried to keep up with brushing his fur and trimming it at home, we eventually found out that in addition to a few lighter matted spots, he had 2 huge bunches of matted hair behind his ears. I quickly read up on how to get rid of these without having to take him to the groomer. I spent a few hours, using the detangling spray and comb and scissors and was able to remove about 60% of the matted hair on both sides. As I got closer to the skin, it seemed extremely difficult and Cookie started to get very restless and I realized that I had no choice but to take him to the groomer again. However, through this, I learnt a valuable spiritual lesson, if I may put it that way. As I started working on removing the matted hair, I felt how difficultly tangled the hair was. And I realized, is this not how Sin is? It starts off with one small sin, like a small tangle, a small knot, which pulls in a bit more and then a bit more and in no time, before we realize, it becomes a big bunch of matted mess. We cannot untangle ourselves from this mess. Unless someone is kind enough to painstakingly spend time to go through the patient process of detangling which is painful for both parties, there is no escape from it. No magical redemption from it. Sin has such a downward spiral effect. In the garden of Eden where everything was perfect and God saw that everything was good, sin entered through disobedience. Because sin enters in a subtle way and then does not stay subtle, it’s next stop from disobedience, was murder of Cain’s brother Abel. From disobedience to murder was a steep drop as in a rollercoaster ride. And today, here we are living in a completely evil world, wicked at its core. Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Romans 5:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen! 1 John 1:8,9 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
May we confess, may we repent, and may we pray to our Christ Jesus to cleanse us from all unrighteousness! Amen.
Cookie – after getting all the matted hair removed.
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Jesus shows grace to the woman who was caught in the very act of adultery. The scribes and pharisees were more interested in testing and trapping Jesus, at the cost of this woman. Yes, the woman did commit sin, for which the judgement according to the Law of Moses was stoning to death. Jesus, however, showed grace to the woman. Jesus brought conviction to those wanting to stone her in judgement. At least one stone could have been thrown at her by the only one who was without sin – Jesus. But Jesus did not punish her. Jesus showed her grace instead. Grace accomplishes what punishment cannot.
My mother and I are witnesses of such amazing grace. My mother went to be with the Lord on February 2nd, 2021. She was diagnosed with terminal illness. On December 23rd, she was admitted in the hospital. The doctor had given her only 3 days to live. I was not informed of how critical her condition really was, but was asked to visit her immediately. Even though I am the only child to my parents, I did not have a good relationship with my parents. Our family had a history of broken mother-daughter relationships. God gave me the verse Joshua 1:9 three times.”Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” I started my travel arrangements. With much hesitation and fear, I asked , “Lord, what do I do? what do I do? “. Just then, the worship leader started singing a song that I remembered as a song sung at funerals. I was so taken aback and instantly asked, “Lord, what are you saying?”. Right away I decided to go to see my mother. I reached home on Jan 15th.In those 2 weeks, God had prepared me for the task of leading my mother’s soul to Jesus. I went to see my mother at her home. I was shocked to see that she had become extremely thin and beyond recognition. She held my hand and said, “I am going to Jesus“. I was speechless. That same night, she was admitted in the hospital.
A friend had reminded me that my first duty was to lead her to Jesus and so I went to the hospital the next morning, held her hands and prayed a prayer of repentance with her. I asked her to get everything right with God, forgive anyone whom she had not forgiven, let go of worldly concerns, etc. I did all this without really knowing that she had only days left to live. Everyday I prayed holding her hands. Each day, I read many Psalms from the Bible to her. As I read, our hearts just rejoiced. Then God gave me the wisdom to ask her to repeat as I read and she would do that. One day as I said, “shall we read Psalms 91?”, without waiting, she quoted the entire Psalm 91. I recorded this moment and that is the last memory I have of her.
I started spending more time at the hospital, reading God’s Word to her and playing some good Christian messages for her. Doctors were suggesting to discharge her and take her home as they didn’t have any further treatment options to offer. But even with all this, my mind still could not understand that she had only few days left to live. I prayed for a miracle and I believed that she still had time left. I simply could not understand that she had only days left.
On Sunday, as there was no one else to help, God gave me the grace to clean my mother and change her soiled clothes, all by myself. The nurse was so surprised to hear that I cleaned and changed her clothes single handedly. I had never taken care of any adult until then. But as I cleaned my mother, I truly felt that that made Jesus happy. It felt like I had done just what He had desired of me.
As doctor continuously suggested to discharge her, I agreed to take out mother to our home on Jan 27th. The Psalm that I read for her that day was Psalm 116. As I came to verse 15, I had a hard time reading out loud”Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints.” My mother repeated it along with me. I felt so sad that I had picked this chapter to read without seeing this verse. That morning, a friend posted a song and I instantly learnt the second stanza which talked about God being both my father and mother. I was singing that song repeatedly in my mother’s room that morning. She told me to “buy a Bible with big letters. Read it for your dad just like you did for me”. That was the last thing she instructed me to do.
I started the discharge procedure. At around 10:30 am, she suddenly made gasping sounds. When we asked , she said she had trouble breathing. The doctor asked her what was happening and she replied, “I am going to Jesus”. When a nurse said “don’t be scared” , she replied,”I am not scared”. She was so calm and peaceful as she answered. Then she just repeated, “Jesus, Jesus”. She was admitted in the ICU with oxygen support. As I waited in front of the ICU, I broke down and cried several times, as I remembered this song that I kept singing about God being my father and mother. I believe God was comforting me through this song, even before my mother’s passing.
From there, things only went downhill. She moved from an oxygen tube to a ventilator. Doctor told me to inform the relatives. I had not told my dad about how serious mother’s illness was. Her siblings and many other relatives came to the hospital to see her. On Friday the 29th, when I called her, she opened her eyes and looked at me. I rubbed her arms and said, “mother, I am here”. But her arm hurt as I rubbed, so I just rubbed her shoulder. That was the last time she responded to me.
Since the, the doctor said that she was 100% on the ventilator and that there was no hope left. On Saturday, as I spoke to the doctor, I broke down and said that I could not decide whether to remove my mother from the ventilator or not. I continuously prayed asking God to keep me from making this decision. However, it seemed like this was the only prayer that God wouldn’t answer. I suddenly remembered being mentioned that God won’t take the believing loved ones unless we surrender them to Him wholeheartedly. A friend helped to pray that even after we remove her from ventilator, as it is God who gives us breath, He would give her the breath if it is His will. After this prayer, I had peace about that decision.
On February 1 morning, I went to talk to the doctor. As I waited outside, I prayed for God to help me make the right decision. As I started speaking to the doctor, I felt so much peace and I told him that I am ready to let her go. The doctor said that he will first start weaning my mother off of the medicines she was on, and then will gradually remove her from the ventilator. My mother was off the ventilator that night. But against all odds, she continued to breathe. Even the doctor was surprised.
On February 2nd, by evening, my mother’s oxygen levels dropped down. I still did not understand. I was at the hospital till 7pm. After that, I went home. I called my dad at 8:10. When he asked how she was, I answered, “she will go to heaven whenever her time comes”. I came to know that my mother went to be with the Lord at 8:14 pm. She went to be with the Lord, just when I was saying the above words to my dad. I reached the hospital after 45 minutes. As I saw her face, she had this glorious smile. For one who was on tubes for days, she had a very happy smile. The smile was the evidence that she went to heaven just as she said. February 2nd also happens to be the death anniversary of her mother. She did not have a good relationship with her mother, but what are the odds that both my mother and my grandmother share the same death anniversary date.
My mother and I are witnesses of this amazing grace of Jesus. An entire life time of broken relationship was restored by Jesus in two weeks. Now all I can remember about my mother is this perfect mother-daughter relationship in Christ. He showed grace to my mother in so many ways. My mother always prayed that she would leave without suffering much from sickness. God truly honored that prayer. Though she was diagnosed with terminal cancer that had spread to multiple organs, she did not suffer a bit of pain from cancer. She did not have to leave this world with a broken relationship with me, but left happy and peacefully, giving me the privilege of having taken care of her in every way I possible could, even if it was only for two weeks. Though her life was nothing but broken pieces, she always held on to God. She did not know to let go of some baggage. God taught me about that and sent me to her to help her let go of those burdens she was carrying, preparing her for heaven. God saved me from having to live with a lifelong regret due to our broken relationship. Instead, He restored our relationship. Everyone who I have spoken to in these weeks, have experienced the grace and reconciliation of Jesus. I will continue to proclaim of this amazing grace of Jesus, for His glory. Amen!
