Luke 22:3 Satan entered into Judas. Whoever betrays Christ, or His truths or ways, it is Satan that puts them upon it. How Satan entered into Judas was in awful stages. The awful stages were 1) Covetousness being his master-passion, the Lord let it reveal itself and gather strength by entrusting Judas with the money bag, as treasurer to Jesus and the twelve disciples.
In the discharge of that most sacred trust, he became a thief, taking the money from time to time to his own use. Satan, seeing this door into Judas’ heart standing wide open, determines to enter by it, but cautiously putting it into his heart to betray Him, suggesting the thought to him that by this means he might enrich himself.
God gave His children the Ten Commandments to keep. If we find ourself breaking those commandments by simple white lies, coveting, dishonoring parents, having other priorities than God etc, we should have the wisdom to understand that we are doing what the devil wants us to do and not God. Neglecting these in the beginning makes the heart and the conscience callous and then it makes one go in a downward spiral with the devil.
The devil’s tactics are old and nothing new. He blinds people into being ignorant. Amazed by how Judas after making a pact with the Chief Priests still came over for the Passover meal with Jesus and the rest of the disciples. This Jesus who always exposed the crooked thoughts of the Pharisees and Sadducees, would He have not known what Judas was upto? But the devil blinded Judas from realizing that Jesus is omniscient and omnipotent.
Amazed by how the chief priests who claimed to keep even the smallest of the laws had no problem plotting to kill a sinless man because He came in the way of their earthly agendas.
1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
Hebrews 13:5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you”. So we may boldly say: “The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”
The God who created the universe and all the living things in it has promised that He will feed us and provide for us without fail. So we don’t have to exhaust ourselves in such meaningless pursuits after wealth rather focus on the heart of God and His Kingdom.
Of all the disciples, only Judas was given the money bag because he was the only one who was greedy while the rest of them laid down their lives for the sake of the gospel of Christ. And the noose of that moneybag strangled Judas’ neck to his death.We are tested in our area of weaknesses more than the strengths. May we ask Him not to lead us into temptation but to deliver us from the evil one! AMEN!
For more than 4 weeks, I had been trodding the hospital corridors in these shoes along with Indian outfits and thus screaming, “She doesn’t belong to planet India”.I went to India with the verse – Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you.
Little did I know that I was going to be walking through the fire – in these shoes.
Same way, when I came last year for my mom’s last days, God sent me with the Word Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Thanking God for speaking through His Word and then keeping it without fail. Even before I left to India, the verse Psalm 125:1 came to me twice
Psalm 125:1 Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever. This was the verse in my mom’s gravestone. And by March 22(the day my dad went to be with the Lord), I got this verse 5 times. And yes, it is the same verse that was put in dad’s gravestone too. This has been quite a journey for me. And God has been faithful to His Word and He is bringing me out of this fire stronger than ever. He did not allow me to be scorched or burnt but refined me as gold to serve His Kingdom purpose.
I learnt several lessons in this journey. Standing in the gap for the souls matters preciously in God’s eyes. As it is, without having to do anything, hell fills up quickly in multitudes; Heaven, on the other hand, one soul at a time, is it not? Because the standards of heaven is too high. God got me to pray for my dad for this entire past year. Little did I know the urgency of time back then. I wouldn’t let go of my dad without making sure that he is headed to heaven. As he was in coma, I did everything possible from my side, as guided by God on what to pray, what Word to read to him, what to say in his ears to get our relationship restored from bitterness and regrets etc. I am not even exaggerating when I say that I literally was knocking on heaven’s doors for my dad. God has been so faithful. I truly believe that because God had grace for both my parents, He prepared me beforehand to lead them through those doors.
Another lesson I learnt is the joy of finding the lost coin, the lost sheep and the lost son. As I have read these parables for years and I never understood what that joy felt like. I never could put myself in their shoes of “lost and found”. But in the end of this journey, I very well understood that joy. Because, during the first 10 days I was in India, I got just 2 hours of sleep. I would fall asleep at 9 out of exhaustion only to wake up at 11, every night. After that, it was just tossing and turning and praying for my dad, as I didn’t know if he got everything right with God and he was in coma, so I had no way of knowing. And I wouldn’t let him go without making sure and helping him in every way from my side. I truly felt what the birthing pain would be like, for the sake of a soul. I had asked God for an evidence to know if my dad made it to heaven. And God gave him a peace-filled face on the entire day of the funeral and filled my heart with peace that comes only from Him. That night also I couldn’t sleep, not because of desperation, but because of overflowing peace.
Third lesson that I learnt is for us to point people to the saving and redeeming grace of Jesus. The Son of God made the biggest sacrifice of all – laid down His life on the cursed cross for the sake of redeeming us. If we truly say that we care about the people in our life, we should point them to Jesus and thus to heaven. The mystery of life is that we don’t have a way of knowing how much of our life is left. And this life is what decides about where we will spend eternity. As we see lives ending in front of our eyes in an instant, let us wisen up and make use of the time in hand and live a life pleasing to God so that there be no regrets when we take our last breaths.
My Appa went to be with the LORD on March 22. The last 4 weeks had been quite a journey with him. It had been a year since Amma went to be with the LORD on Feb 2. Appa had gone to her grave for prayer and broke down and cried. A year without her had changed him a lot. On that morning, as usual, I woke up early to pray for Appa and then slept in the same spot. Right before the alarm went off at 7, I saw a dream and it disturbed me. I saw my amma and Appa in our home with no furnitures. Appa was coming down the stairs with a backpack and Amma asked him how his hand was. He did not reply but he skated across the room. Worried, I held his hand and said, “Appa, you need to sit down” and I saw a wheel chair. That was the dream. I kind of sensed that something was going to happen to him.
The next day he got admitted in the hospital as he felt dizzy while sitting on the bed, slid and fell on the bed. In a couple days, the doctor said that Appa had a fracture in the hip and doing a surgery would relieve him from the pain. I gave the consent for the surgery right away as I wanted to spare Appa from any pain. The surgery got scheduled for Feb 11 which is my birthday. I talked to Appa that morning, told him that it was my birthday and he blessed me. That was the last conversation I had with Appa.
After the surgery, Appa responded fine for couple hours. Then he coughed and aspirated. A clot had moved to a bad spot in the brain which caused him eventually to lose his response. I planned my travel to India. In my waiting, I had only one prayer, “Lord, please spare me from any regret. Appa should respond to me when I call him”.
By the time I reached the hospital on Feb 20, he was already in the ventilator and not responding. I felt shocked and disappointed because I had prayed only one prayer and it was not answered. The first day went by with absolutely zero response. On the second day, his eye was open for a couple minutes but he did not recognize me. As I called him with desperation which turned into cries, miraculously his hand which was paralyzed with no movement – lifted up. It was a significant rise. On the third day, I headed to the hospital, with the plan to tell the doctor to remove the ventilator. God had different plans for His ways are not for us to understand. That morning, Appa responded big time. For around 45 minutes, he had his eyes open, eye balls moving to the sound. He recognized me, had tears in his eyes. Every time I called him, he looked at me. Standing there, I felt overflowing with joy and gratitude towards God – not because He gave me any hope of his recovery, but just because God answered my prayer – not when I expected, but in His time.
Following day was back to no response. Now I had to decide about the ventilator as we were way past the allotted time. But I felt lack of peace as if there is something still undone. All my good friends had told me to pray loudly for him to hear, read the Word loudly and to talk. I wasn’t doing any of that because I was very hesitant to do all this in front of people.
Thanks be to God who comes through with answers. That early morning, sentences came into my ear to tell Appa that I love him, I forgive him and I don’t have any anger at all and to ask him for forgiveness and many such sentences. I instantly understood that it is the Lord speaking to me. That day I had determined in my heart to speak all of this in Appa’s ear, read the Word and to kneel down there and pray. It wasn’t easy especially to kneel down in front of all the people. But, nothing was bigger to me than what God put in my heart. As I knelt down, I said, “Lord, I kneel down and go low here so that Your name be lifted up in this place”. After I did all this, I felt like the missing piece was done and I felt so much peace.
In the next couple days, we decided to remove him off ventilator. It seemed that he won’t survive once ventilator is removed. But, against all odds, he started breathing. Not for one day or two, but he continued to breath for 23 days. Except, there was no response from him. I had been reading the Word everyday in his ear, talked in his ear about how much I loved him which I didn’t realize till then, asked him to forgive me and I talked so many things as the Lord put in my heart.
The next weeks were very difficult for me. He was breathing and all organs were functioning against all odds, but without response, none of it mattered enough. But God’s timing is perfect which our little brain doesn’t comprehend. By breathing, Appa brought through some mighty breakthroughs in my life. I had never taken a stand for Appa in my life. But when he was in coma, I took a mighty stand for him when he was in coma that I will not leave him behind but will stay back and take care of him.
Even before this journey started, God had given me various verses. One was “the yoke will be removed from your shoulder“. Along with my prayer friends, I had only one prayer. “Lord, please take him to heaven in Your time and please do not let him to suffer”. There were days like Elijah sending his servant to look for a rain cloud and got nothing.
On March 22, Appa had a cardiac arrest and he left peacefully, as witnessed by the ICU staff. God answered my every single prayer. All I wanted for Appa was to go to heaven and not suffer here. I had asked God for an evidence that he made it to heaven. God granted that evidence as a peace-filled face on the entire day of the funeral. God truly had been the author and finisher of Appa’s faith.
Appa was saved merely by grace. The Lord who showed mercy on the prodigal son, the tax collector and the theif on the cross – showed mercy on Appa. Lot of times, it is us, the legalists, who write off people from receiving grace from the Saviour who died on the cross for them and us alike.
If the One who died on the cross is willing to show mercy to whom He wants to show mercy, who are we to stand in the way?
On the third day, Queen Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the king’s palace. When the king saw Queen Esther standing in the court, she found favor in his sight, and the king held out to Esther the golden scepter. Then Esther went near and touched the top of the scepter.
And the king said to her, “What do you wish, Queen Esther? What is your request? It shall be given to you— up to half the kingdom!” Queen Esther invites king and Haman for a banquet which she had prepared for Haman. At the banquet of wine the king said to Esther, “ What is your petition? It shall be given to you— up to half the kingdom!” Queen Esther invited them again for a banquet the next day. And on the second day, at the banquet of wine the king said to Esther, “ What is your petition? It shall be given to you— up to half the kingdom!”
Then Queen Esther answered and said, “if I have found favor in your sight, O King, and if it pleases the king, let my life be given at my petition, and my people at my request. For we have been sold, my people and I, to be destroyed, to be killed, and to be annihilated”.
So king asked,”Who is he, and where is he, who would dare presume in his heart to do such a thing?” And Esther said, “The adversary and enemy is this wicked Haman!”
The king ordered for Haman to be hanged on the same gallows that he had prepared for Mordecai, Queen Esther’s uncle.
I love the story of Esther. In a story where God is not mentioned, He was still present in the picture. At times, when we fret wondering where God is, this story is a reminder for us that God is always a very present help for His children. Even when wicked people forget that God sees, God reminds them with a mighty and outstretched arm that He sees and He knows how to rescue His children. I imagine Esther to be a woman clothed in grace and favor. I am amazed by her wisdom and patience to wait for the right moment to place her petition. Just like Moses, even when the kingdom was offered to her, she did not put herself first and choose her own selfish protection and provision, instead she kept the priority of the protection of God’s children.
I often picture myself as standing in front of God Almighty With my petitions. May the good Lord always show us mercy by stretching out the scepter to us. May we not request for perishing blessings of this world but instead put His will and glory first.
Isaiah 43:4 (NKJV) Since you were precious in My sight, you have been honored, and I have loved you.
Today is my birthday! From my young age, I had this habit of asking my Abba Father God for a birthday gift. My dad gave me good gifts for my birthdays when I was young. Growing up in India, gold jewelry made an expensive special gift for me, mostly every year. Though my birthdays seemed special at our home, the rest of the days were miserable. So, I started to look upon God as my Father as He is the perfect father.
I consider myself like a very crumbled $100 bill. In a few decades, I had no self-esteem left. As I couldn’t meet the expectations of my family, I felt like I had no value at all. If a dirty crumbled $100 bill is found in the garbage, people would still take it because they know its worth.
So, what is my worth? Jesus, the Son of God, stepped down from all His riches in heaven, into this miserable world for my sake. Jesus, the Word, who brought everything into existence, came down as a humble baby, in a manger, in the humblest form so that the poorest of the poorest can relate with Him. And He lived a life with not a single sin for about thirty-three years, giving good news to the spiritually poor, freedom to the spiritually captives, healing to the brokenhearted and vision to the spiritually blind. That is my worth. The Son of God Himself came down to rescue me! The LORD of Hosts fights my battles and asks me to just be still and know that He is God! He covers me with His robe of righteousness and calls me “justified”. He paid for all my sins and gave me a clean note saying, “paid in full”. ELROI God who tells me, “Don’t worry. I see you”. He holds me in the palm of His nail-pierced hands. I am the daughter of the One True King! AMEN!
Mathew 12:20 A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out.
Remembering my mom as today is her first anniversary of being with the Lord. I can only be grateful to God for relieving her from her miserable life. I am amazed by how she held on to God. I am just amazed by how she hung in there as the only person for a lifetime because even I wasn’t there for her. I am so thankful to God for giving me two weeks with her which balanced out the previous decades which were bitter and shallow.
God’s faithfulness gives me so much hope. One day, I will finish my race in Christ too. I am sure of that because my race is dependent not on me, but the author and finisher of my faith that is Jesus.
Jesus said, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Mathew 5:16
My mom’s light probably did not shine so bright, but God in His amazing grace did not let her little light be snuffed out.
God honored all her prayers. She had prayed all her life that she should not suffer from sickness. Within months of being diagnosed of cancer spread in multiple organs, she was taken away from it. She did not suffer a bit of pain due to such dreadful disease. How faithful God is!
The first and the last words she told me is “I am going to Jesus”.
The last thing she asked me to do is to read the Word for my dad everyday, just as I did for her. She asked me to buy a Bible with big letters for him to read.
She has passed on the baton to me now. Amazing how within a year, my dad’s redemption has become my goal. I have complete faith in the redeeming grace of Jesus.
I praise this God who taught me to forgive and to love the unloveable. Now I will be still and wait for His time of redemption.
My mom’s life looked bleak, downcast, lonely, looked down upon. That was her entire life of 73 years. Even I wasn’t a support for her. Her only refuge was God. She was drowning in the water her entire life and the only life-jacket she had was JESUS. And JESUS never failed her. NEVER! He helped her to finish the race in Him. He made me the witness to see His faithfulness upon her till the end of her life. He gave me the privilege to reconcile with her, serve her and lead her towards heaven in the last stretch. Now all I can remember is the two good weeks God gave me with her. Isn’t it amazing how God can remove the bitterness without a trace? He removed a lifetime of regret from me.
THIS bruised reed, HE did not break. THIS smoldering wick HE did not snuff out.
I feel extremely saddened by the news of the passing away of a crochet Youtuber. Around 5 years back, when I was without job for couple months, I signed up for a crochet class in Joann craft store. It was a three hours session. I wanted to quit in 30 minutes as I could not keep up with the learning. By the time I got home after three hours session, I was clueless on what I learnt. I decided to check the YouTube to see if I can learn following any easy tutorials. That is when I came across this beautiful and passionate Youtuber. I loved how she did the tutorial. I followed that video and made a cap. I loved to watch so many of her videos and quickly learned to make so many patterns of caps and scarves.
I remember her announcing about diagnosis of a rare kind of cancer. Even saw her videos of getting treatment and such. I felt extremely shocked when yesterday her husband posted in Facebook that she went to be with the Lord. Over the time, I had watched several crochet Youtubers, but about her, I knew that she was a believer of Jesus. So I felt much saddened by this news. Her husband also had posted a picture from her last days. Instantly reminded me of my mother who went to be with the Lord in February of 2021. My mother also was diagnosed with cancer and in a few months, she also had lost so much weight and by the time I got to see her, she was very thin and fragile.
Though I do not know this lady more than through her videos, I did know that she was a believer. I just felt so deeply saddened to hear the news of her passing away. She finished her race in Christ. She is free from all the pain and sufferings of this sickness.
Be it a loved one or be it even someone whom we don’t know personally, death is a very real happening. This life is short and this world is not our home and eternity is extremely long. Most people don’t like to think about death or talk about it, yet it is a very real thing. We see the reality of it more than ever during this pandemic. Truth, whether we like to believe or not, is that we all are running towards a finish line, aren’t we? For some, the finish line is decades away. For some, the finish line pops up right in front as least expected. For some, the finish line is so unpredictable. For some, the finish line is just a matter of any time. One thing common is that we are all running towards a finish line after which is eternity in heaven or hell. There is no middle ground. The life that we live in this world determines if we would spend eternity in heaven or in hell.
As it is, I am not worried about dying. I have surrendered my life to Christ. Though far from perfect, I do strive to live a life that pleases Jesus for He redeemed me from the pits of sin, depression, failures, shame and many other such. He showed me abundant of grace when all I deserved is punishment. Yes, He did discipline me, but I saw His love and gentleness in that disciplining, while He could have zapped me with lightning. I am ready to spend eternity with Jesus if He would take me today. I saw the glorious smile on my mom’s face after she left. I saw the grace He showed her by being so faithful to her. But yet, whenever I hear such stories of people leaving too soon, it affects me much. Though I am not afraid of entering into eternity today, what worries me is awaiting the unknown. Everyone has trials awaiting. For everyone it is a different kind. The mystery of what is going to be our lot is what worries me. But, as always, God is faithful because He has promised that His grace is sufficient. He has promised that He is the author and finisher of my faith. No one of this world are capable of keeping promises. There is one and only promise keeper and that is Jesus.
No guilt in life, no fear in death This is the power of Christ in me From life’s first cry to final breath Jesus commands my destiny No power of hell, no scheme of man Can ever pluck me from His hand Till He returns or calls me home Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand
1 Thessalonians 4:13 But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. 14. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.
My faith is in Jesus to finish this race in Him. I cannot do this on my own. Jesus is faithful as He doesn’t ask me to somehow make it on my own. He runs right beside me, picks me up when I fall down, cheers me and sees me through till I finish this race. I do not know what kind of trial I will face and when my finish line would show up, but I trust in Him as I run this race.
1 Corinthians 9:24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it.
As I wrap up 2021, I am amazed and overwhelmed by the happenings in this year. In 2020, I did a role for a few months to help the people impacted by the covid situation in our country and I came across a believer coworker, Elizabeth. As we were all asked to introduce ourselves, we were asked to answer the question “What did we miss due to social distancing?”. Elizabeth was the only person who answered that she missed church and hugs. Her answer caught my attention because mentioning church or God in corporate is not easy. In the next couple days, we were able to talk to each other in relation to the job and we made an instant connection just as it happens when believers connect. In that role, we encouraged each other by even sharing Bible verses that uplifted our spirit for each day. This was a very difficult role for us. Once she got to exit from this role, she decided to retire. We still stayed in touch over text and phone calls.
One day she mentioned that she was traveling through Chicago and if we could meet. By God’s grace, we met at a fast-food place and we talked for an hour. It was an amazing God-centered conversation. At the time, Elizabeth showed pictures of her sister, Ruth. This was around the same time when I was going through some very difficult times with my dad, after my mom went to be with the LORD in February. As I poured out my burdens to God, I felt Him say, “You give your concerns to Me and you continue to do what I have asked you to do”. A year back, when I desperately needed a project at work, He had told me to pray for others while I am waiting on Him to give me a project. And in those days, the only places where I saw God’s hands were when I prayed for others so I prayed more and more for others. So when Elizabeth showed the living conditions of Ruth, my heart was instantly touched and the images just stayed in my mind. So from then on, Ruth had become the first name in my prayer list and I, by God’s grace, diligently prayed for her salvation and for being a vessel for God’s glory. I am grateful to God for teaching me to be diligent and consistent in praying for friends this year.
On Dec 24th, I got a text from Elizabeth saying that Ruth had died the previous day. I felt indescribably shocked by the news. My first question to God was, “Did my prayers even matter?”. Because I had been praying that she would be saved and also she would share the gospel with others who are in similar situation. So to hear that she passed away was hard for me to digest. Later when I talked to Elizabeth, she mentioned that how two weeks before her death, Ruth had mentioned in a conversation about a tornado destruction that she is a Christian woman and that she is ok to leave this life when her time comes. I felt touched by those words and in the coming days, God gave me so much peace regarding Ruth. I looked back and I saw how God brought her story to me. There are billions of people in this world. God brings certain people into our path. If not for God, I would not have even known Elizabeth or Ruth. God connected the dots in an amazing way and when her story was brought to my ears, He worked in my heart to pray for her. I felt so content that I did the part that God gave me to do.
He also taught me lessons through this. 1) the importance of accepting Jesus as our Savior is the one and only way to heaven 2) to have ears that are aligned to His heart and a heart to be obedient to His instruction 3) to pray for the salvation of everyone whom He puts in our path 4) to not instruct God on how He should answer my prayer, but to leave it to His higher ways.
Isaiah 45:9 Shall the clay say to him who forms it, “What are you making?”
Isaiah 64:8 But now, O LORD, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand.
As an answer to my question, I came across this teaching of Jesus.
Luke 17:7 And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and sit down to eat’? 8. But will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink’?. 9. Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. 10 So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, ‘We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do”.
Salvation belongs to the LORD. His ways are higher for us to understand. Our times are in His mighty hands. I have never met Ruth in person. But I am hoping by the redeeming grace of Jesus that one day when I go to heaven, Ruth will also be one of them who would welcome me. I am grateful to God for giving me the privilege to pray for Ruth. I am surrendering myself to be an obedient vessel to be instructed by Him to pray for more and more of His children. AMEN!
On Sunday we had Christmas Carols from our church family at our home! As I had attended the carols in other houses during the previous days, one question that was asked to everyone in those houses was, “What does Christmas mean to you?”. Most of the friends compared their childhood Christmas and then how the perspective changes from fun towards the spiritual meaning. I don’t have any issues with the spiritual side of it as by God’s grace, I am growing in Him. But what I could not remember was even one good Christmas memory from my childhood. We moved to a place as we bought a house where we did not know anyone at all. I was very active in church and participated in Sunday class, choir etc. That was the only good thing I remembered. All I could remember fondly about Christmas was these 18 years in America after I got married.
I attended Saturday service in church and God gave me an amazing surprise as Pastor Ross who was the previous senior Pastor in our church came as guest preacher. As I am burdened for my dad’s salvation these days, seeing Pastor Ross was an instant reminder of salvation because he was a drug addict who wanted to kill himself in front of the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve to taunt his parents for their lifetime. But God spoke to him and he gave his life to Jesus and became a mighty man of God. So to me, seeing him that day was like an instant assurance of salvation. After that I went caroling and woke up at 5 am as usual to pray. I thank God for the valleys in my life that finally I have a disciplined prayer life. I wanted to make a ginger pepper coffee to help my throat from carol singing. So I went to the kitchen and instantly I was reminded by God of my childhood Christmas days which were actually bitter. Lot of times when I have a bothering question which I ask, the answer comes from Him as first thing the next morning. I broke into tears as I remembered the many Christmas’ I had at my parents house. Like a pattern, my dad would have a fight at our home every single Christmas. As we didn’t have anyone whom we knew in that place, no one really knew how we lived inside the four walls. But amazingly I had completely forgotten those bitter years after having peaceful years in this country. I felt, with all honesty, I should share about my bitter years so that people can see that what we see is not always what it is. We all know how the devil works fears in our mind. Though it started off with so much enthusiasm about sharing this, soon my mind started building up fear. My concern was when everyone shared happy memories, how can I share a broken story. I felt extremely stressed and resulted in a terrible neck pain as I could feel the stress on my neck. I just prayed that Lord if it is Your will for me to talk about this, help me. Also please give me a sign.
I went to church and soon by God’s grace my neck pain went away. Minutes before the Indian service started, we decided to do “Silent night” with parts and I am one of the Alto people. I have not sang in parts since my tenth grade. God gave me the forgotten desire of my heart to sing alto. Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.
In church, worship was led by the youth. One of the songs sung was “In the bleak mid winter” and instantly to me that was the sign because that is a song I had sung on Christmas Eve with two friends when I was young. After decades, I heard that song yesterday. For us to sing that song, it was a sign to me and I instantly felt enthusiastic about sharing my broken Christmas story.
I had to cook lots of food for the Carolers. As I kept thinking about what to share, I started feeling very stressed again. I kept asking, “Lord, should I really say? I am scared. ” There were moments where I thought of skipping it. But somehow I didn’t want to be in a spot of disobedience and regret.
I could not completely focus on cooking as I was stressed about this sharing. I can go on and on about God’s goodness in my life, but to share a broken story where everyone portrays a perfect Christmas was a very difficult task.
Then the time came for me to share. I started off sharing about how I had no good childhood Christmas memories and how God reminded of how broken our Christmas’ used to be. I shared about how we always had a fight between my parents every Christmas without fail and we just adjusted having some food while everyone would make special food on Christmas. And I shared about how God blessed us with peaceful Christmas days since I got married – a new Season of peace in my life. I shared about how my mother in law went to be with the LORD in January 2020 so unexpectedly. She had lived a life of legacy and how I felt this word again and again “Well done , good and faithful servant”. From then on I started praying for my entire family so that we all will make it to heaven. Just in a year, my mother went to be with the LORD. I shared about how she held my hand and said that she is going to Jesus. And how her last words before she had breathing issues and went into the ventilator, ” I am going to Jesus”. About these two women, “they went to be with the LORD” was not just a statement. It was a very clear fact. I shared that my prayers are for both our dads who are not walking quite right with the LORD, though they both know the LORD too.
Now that is another broken story because it is not easy to share to the world a picture like that. People will rather go to hell than let the world that I am not heaven-ready yet. I shared about how my father in law is from a Hindu family and that he left his house because of the Christian faith and yet, as the path to heaven is narrow and hard, became like seeds sown in rocky area. I declared with boldness that I can’t yet share about my dad but as I serve this faithful God, I can say for sure that Jesus will redeem my dad and I will share a testimony one day.
Now came the words that helped me to land the plane. I had not thought of any of these words so it was truly the Holy Spirit Lord’s doing. I shared about how death is real and hell is real and heaven is real and the path to heaven is not easy. I shared about how we tend to make our living in this world comfortable when we don’t know if we will live tomorrow. I shared about how we have the chance to accept Jesus as our savior only as long as we live. Once the breath stops, there is no more chance left. I shared boldly about how there will be no regret in choosing Jesus as one’s Savior. I never had the courage to share the gospel but had this intense desire in my heart to have the boldness to speak the gospel. And yesterday was the day, I was enabled by God Almighty to share the gospel to Christians and non-Christians.
I thank Almighty God for making the day a milestone in my life. He sent Pastor Ross exactly this week so I would feel the assurance of salvation for my left behind parents. God sent a white friend who has a special heart for Indians to help us learn Christmas songs with parts and He granted me the forgotten desire to sing alto. God answered my one line prayer and sent a sign through a song and gave me the boldness to speak the gospel to both believers and non-believers. Last but not the least, the food which I could not focus on while cooking, tasted so good that we ran out it in no time. When I got so many compliments for the food, I felt it was the hand of Jesus which turned the food tasty in peoples’ mouth.
Why do I share my broken stories? Because my broken stories has a redemption side which glorifies Jesus. Also, when I bring my prayers loudly, I know that God reveals His faithfulness, just as He was faithful to answer Hannah’s silent prayers.
Revelation 12:11 And tthey overcame him(the devil) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, uand they did not love their lives to the death.
John 2:8 And Jesus said to them, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast”.
The first ever miracle Jesus did was at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. Jesus and His disciples were invited for the wedding. Blessed wedding to have Jesus at the wedding. Yet there was a lack at the wedding. They ran out of wine for the guests. In the Jewish tradition, that was a huge disgrace for the hosts. As Mary, Jesus’ mother reported this to Him, He asked her, “What does your concern have to do with Me?”. Yet He does what His character is – Jehovah Jirah, the provider.
There were six water pots of stone kept outside, as per the purification manner of the Jews, to wash their feet before they enter inside. So obviously, the water pots did not have any other greater purpose. Perhaps the pots were not frequently cleansed. Perhaps the inside of the pots had sediments of dirt because the purpose of it is not for drinking, but for merely washing people’s feet. Perhaps the pots had not been moved around since they were placed there and had only one purpose to serve the dirty feet of people. Perhaps the water was just some ordinary water, which could not be used for drinking purpose. In an ideal day, the Jews who had so many cleanliness traditions would not have consumed this water even by mistake.
Jesus is the Master of using those who are despised and valueless in people’s eyes. He asks the servants to fill these pots with water. And they filled it to the brim. No one had experienced the miracles of Jesus yet, but they obeyed Him. Jesus did not say any prayer or speak any miracle over the water. He just said, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast”. The master of the feast exclaimed that the bridegroom had saved the best wine for later. Amazing change in purpose from dirty water to the best wine because of the intervention of Jesus. The taste of the wine was so good that no one inquired about its origin. We might be very ordinary people with very ordinary purpose. But when we yield to Jesus, our destiny is transformed and surpasses our origin.
Psalm 34:8 Oh, Taste and see that the LORD is good. The wine had to be taken and served to the master of the feast before he could taste. Unless God in His mercy gives us opportunities to taste His goodness, we only hear of His goodness from His Word and from others. Those who did not come for the wedding never got to taste such amazing wine. They only got to hear it from others. May we seek God earnestly to give us opportunities to taste and proclaim that He truly is good. AMEN!
