#brokenvessels Archives -

Strongholds – brick by brick

I wanted to share these insights in relation to last week’s ‘strongholds’ topic in our small group. Quoting from the ‘Freedom in Christ’ book, “A stronghold is a belief or habitual pattern of thinking that is not consistent with what God tells us is true”. Psychologists might call them ‘defense mechanisms’. An easy way to understand a stronghold is allowing the devil to build a mansion in our hearts and minds and dwell there. A stronghold is not built by him overnight in anyone’s mind. He builds it brick by brick without catching our attention. Hence, we need to be very careful about anything we do that might give him the foothold to start building – anything that is against what God says in the Bible. Unforgiveness, pride, ego, jealousy, selfishness – these are just a few examples. Hence, the verse says, in 2 Corinthians 10:5 – “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ”. Most of the time, the root source of a stronghold is some kind of hurt. To avoid any further hurts, or to soothe ourselves from the past hurt, we raise defense mechanisms. Anything that we do by human nature is against God’s Word, because of our fallen sinful nature. A spiritual walk is done intentionally with effort, while human nature comes naturally with no effort.

Some of the strongholds start with vows and pacts that sound like this, “I will never do this … “. I would like to share this from my life. As I might have mentioned before too, I grew up as the only child and whenever Appa was angry, he would threaten me and Amma that he would throw us out of the house. I grew up with the fear of landing on the streets and so much bitterness and anger towards Appa. When I got married, I felt secure in Suresh’s parent’s house. And I said to myself, “I will never stay at my parent’s house again, because now I have a safe place”. In 18 years of marriage, I never stayed at my parents’ house for even a night. Though at the time, I did not know that these were strongholds, God in His mercy broke them. The first and the only time I stayed in that house after my marriage was on the day when Amma went to be with the Lord. The reason why I am sharing this is, that even though we claim to be believers, we lack understanding of God’s ways and are clueless of the devil’s tactics. Devil does not come up with new strategies, because most of them we are not even aware of his usual schemes. Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge”.

  Think of any deep hurt that has happened to you, any criticism, any inferiority complex, and see what survival skill you developed to defend yourself. That has a great chance of being a stronghold unless it aligns with God’s Word and You let God be your defender. To help understand better, I can share one more thing. Initially, I could not work for many years and we all know the taunts that we hear from people whenever we visit India. Finally, when God gave me the job, I became a very arrogant person. “Look at me, God is on my side”.  All the hurts that I kept bottled up came out as arrogance. And again, God in His good mercy took me through some paths of humility, humbled me, and reminded me that if He could give me the job, He could take it back too, unless I fix my attitude 🙂 Of course, that puts things in perspective.

The reason I share these insights about strongholds is if we do not even know that there is a battle that is being waged at us constantly, we are defeated already. One prayer I learned to do is to constantly check for strongholds and ask God to show them to me and break them in the Name of Jesus. No stronghold is built overnight. Once the devil builds a stronghold in you, it is like he has a strong hold on you. Unless you take that space back and give it in Jesus’ control, you become his slave. Remember Jesus’ words – John 14:30 “I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming. He has no claim on me.” This is how Jesus expects us to live, by giving no room for the devil to have any claim on us.

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Closed door

In the past few New Year’s, I watched the New Year service themes of some prominent churches in India. They come up with very blessed themes, like year of flourishing, open heavens, and such. But, you know what, not even once I heard a theme called, ‘year of closed door’ 🙂 Because we like only open doors. Closed doors are frowned upon as ‘negative words,’ and we get reminded of Proverbs 18:21 – the power of the tongue. Our human mindset is, even when we wait for a door to open, we don’t want the current door to expel us out. Our preference is for the door to open without having to be in the hallway. Most likely, God does not open any doors without expelling us into the hallway, so that our eyes will seek the next door. An open door does not happen when you are within your comfort zone. The descendants of Abraham were promised the land of Canaan. Even though God Himself took Jacob’s descendants to Egypt through Joseph, both Jacob and Joseph prophesied that God will take the Israelites to the promised land. Just as God had told Abraham, that his descendants will serve in a foreign nation for 400 years, the Israelites sighed and groaned in their afflictions by the Egyptians. And God heard it.

If there is one thing that no one can stop, it is God’s favor. Israelites are God’s chosen people. Even when they were stiff-necked and rebellious and tested God’s patience all the time, He never failed to feed them and protect them in the wilderness. If God’s favor is on someone, man’s favor is a perk that comes along with it. Joseph received favor wherever He was put. Even though it seemed like one misery to another, those were the paths that God had ordained for his foretold destiny. Esther, though a lowly and despised beginning as an orphan, God granted her favor wherever she went. The king even offered half his kingdom for her. David was successful in whatever he did. Daniel and his friends received favor with the king. These people received favor in God’s eyes and thus in others’ eyes, because they set themselves apart to be obedient to God, even when they had to take a stand for God and be all by themselves. These kinds of rewards do not simply fall on anyone’s lap. When we take a stand for God, He stands up for us. When God stands up for us, no one can stand against Him.

When a mother is pregnant with a baby, at one point, the baby needs to be expelled out. We, as ‘once upon a time’ pregnant moms, would think about our baby in the womb, and also think of them after they are born, as we make purchases for them in preparation for their coming. We don’t dwell much on thinking of the process of the delivery as it is painful. But, without that painful process, the expelling of the baby into our hands cannot happen. The growing discomforts as the time nears make us long for the baby to come out, even through that painful process. So, yes, hallway is not where we want to be, but as it leads to the next door, my prayer is for a closed door – to begin with.

Revelation 3:7-8 These are the words of Him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What He opens no one can shut, and what He shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.

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Your Servant

I have memorized 80 Bible Verses in 2024 Last year it was 150.

Today I finished memorizing Psalm 116. Verse 15 is close to my heart. (15) Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His faithful servants. When I was with amma in the hospital in her last 2 weeks, I read the Bible for her everyday and prayed with her. On that wednesday in Jan 2021, I happened to read this chapter to her. I did not realize that this chapter had this verse. As I got to this verse, I choked on it. I wanted to skip that verse, but then I did not skip it but read it because I did not plan on that verse and God ordains our steps. I did not know at the time, but I felt so terrible that I started to read this chapter without realizing this verse was in it. In about a couple of hours, amma gasped for breath and said, “She is going to see Jesus” and was put in the ventilator.

That day I did not notice verse 16. Today as I memorized that verse, I felt pretty amazed if that verse was written about me. Ofcourse, there would be many who can relate to it as the Bible is the Living water that quenches the world’s thirst. Verse 16 – Truly I am Your servant, LORD; I serve You just as my mother did; You have freed me from my chains.”

Amma was a silent prayer warrior who was written off as a failure by the world, including me. But, as I went through her prayer journals, I realized what a prayer warrior she was. Back then, I did not want anything like amma. But, as I read this verse 16, like her, I just want to be God’s servant. Being His servant is my privilege.

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Coconut danger

We had a blessed trip to India. On one of the nights in my first week there, I listened to a powerful message on Psalm 91. As I was greatly worried about a situation that day, I felt like God was pressing me to listen to that message that day. I had seen that message several times in the past few weeks but did not listen to it till then. The message gave me tremendous amounts of strength and I prayed claiming the protection of Psalm 91. The next day as I was cooking, I had to wait and didn’t want to step away from the kitchen because if I stepped away, I often forgot that the stove was on. So I sat on the outside kitchen steps. Within minutes, a coconut fell off the tree just a few feet away from me. I just stayed put because I felt that God had protected me and I remembered the Psalm 91 message that I heard the previous day and the prayers that I did following that. I was so grateful that it did not hurt me or fall on anyone else’s head. The lady who cleans our house sweeps the backyard every day and I felt so grateful that it did not fall while she was doing her work. And the previous day, another person was working in our entire yard. I felt so grateful that this coconut did not fall on any of our heads. I have seen the battle being so real. ‘The Battle belongs to the Lord’ has been my theme for this trip and God took care of my battles.

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God sent me a gift

In January of 2019, I started to take piano lessons. I never thought that I could take piano lessons in my 40s. I was talking to my son’s piano teacher about how even though my mom wanted me to take piano lessons when I was young, I did not get to take lessons. She immediately replied that she had adult students and if I was interested in taking lessons. By God’s grace, I said yes. By September 2019, I had started to learn my first worship song – ‘10000 reasons’. I was going through some tough times at work. It took a couple of months for me to finish that song. I loved to play this song which gave me unexplainable peace in my job situation.

One day when I went for my piano lessons, my teacher took me to the traditional piano in the recital room and asked me to play ‘10000 Reasons’ on it. I loved the sound of that piano as I had never played a traditional piano before that. I immediately had a desire to buy a used traditional piano. I came across used pianos in the Facebook marketplace with so many of them given away for free. In my mind, I did not want to go to someone’s home and take this piano for ‘free’. I was willing to pay a very small amount for it. I reached out to so many people who had listed their pianos and they all replied that someone else was taking it. I left it to God saying, “Jesus, You lead me towards that piano which You have in store for me”. By then my biggest need was a job and piano had become ‘nice to have’.

One day casually I was checking the Facebook marketplace for pianos and I saw a seller who had 4 friends in common with me, listed the piano for $50. And I realized that all 4 of them go to our church. I asked the seller two questions – “Is the Piano still available? Do you go to Calvary church?”. He replied, “Yes to both questions”. He also added that he was the principal of Calvary Christian School. In my mind, I thought that I could convince him to hold the piano for me as we went to the same church after all. At the same time, I heard these words spoken in my mind, “This piano is yours”. I know this voice that speaks because whatever I “hear” in this manner, it always comes true. But, the seller added, “Someone else is coming to see the piano. If they don’t take it, you can come and check it out”. My mind voice replied, “They won’t take it. This piano is MINE”. Before I heard back from him, we got the shocking news that my mother-in-law passed away and so my husband immediately traveled to India. I was so shaken by this unexpected situation of losing my mother-in-law and watching the funeral online. In the meantime, the seller contacted me saying that the other party had found a means to take the piano so he had to be fair and give the piano to them. The funeral was on Thursday. On Saturday evening, as I was folding the laundry, I was asking God, “God, was it You who told me about the piano or not? Because I heard in the same manner about a job too! And if ‘that voice’ was not Yours, I am doomed for the job thing too”.

The next day after attending the English church service, I was sitting at our Indian church and I got a message from the seller saying that the other party could not take the piano and asked if I still wanted it. I replied, “Praise the LORD! I knew this piano is mine!”

I took some guys from the Indian church and brought the piano home. I had prepared a spot for the piano. My husband was in doubt that the piano would be too big to fit in that spot. But guess what? The piano fit in that spot so perfectly that I believe with all my heart that God prepared that spot for my piano, though this house was built around 10 years before we even bought it.

My God sent me a gift for my birthday which is still the most valuable birthday gift that I have received thus far. And I am still taking piano lessons, doing worship every day even with all my inadequacies in skills and understanding. I have done 5 recitals so far – all of them with worship songs, twice on grand piano. The first time I ever got to play on a grand piano, I played “You raise me up” which was the song that inspired me to learn a musical instrument in the first place. Isn’t God so faithful and keen on the details?

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD, And He will give you the desires of your heart.

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Call her Blessed

Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise and call her blessed.

Today is Amma’s third anniversary. For the past few days, the above verse repeatedly came to my mind. Amma was no Proverbs 31 woman. For a long time, she was one person I did not want to end up like. In the world’s eyes, she was a failure, who lived a life of misery. But now, when I look back, I see her as a blessed woman because she finished her race with the words, “Naan Yesappava paaaka poren (I am going to see Jesus)”. Life can be a failure or it can even be a success in the world’s eyes but unless one finishes the race in Christ, it is a failure for sure.

But now when I look back, God has been so faithful towards her. All through her life, without wavering for one bit, Amma held on to God. Though her life did not seem to get any better, she held on to God. Though probably she did not realize it, I now understand very well that she truly was a blessed woman because I can see now that God has answered ALL her prayers. She always prayed that she would not suffer from sickness. Though she was diagnosed with cancer at its terminal stage, she suffered no pain from it. Amma would always quote the entire of Psalm 91 and Psalm 128 every time she prayed. And even through the times of the pandemic, God protected her from the virus. Though she was a very shy person, she had even gone to some neighbors and shared the gospel with them. I went through a bunch of her journals in which she had prayed for so many people whose situations I had shared with her. Every time she would ask me to spell their name and the place they live, and I read in her journals that she prayed for them. She did all these things with no bells and whistles.

In her last two weeks, as she was in the hospital, every time I went out in an autorickshaw, I always sang this song, “En Koodave Irum, O Yesuve (Be always with me, Jesus)”. As this was in 2021 in the middle of the pandemic, I would wear the mask so no one could see or hear me sing, but every time I sang just the chorus of the song because that’s all the lyrics I knew in this song. But on that day, a Wednesday, early morning, I saw this song being posted in one of the church groups which was sung by my friend’s family. That is when I heard the stanzas and my mind immediately registered the second stanza for some reason. I kept singing this song’s second stanza in Amma’s room that day. The second stanza talks about how God will be my father and mother in my tears and sorrows. That was the last time she heard me sing. How faithful God is to tell me of what was coming!

I believe another thing God honored was her desire for me to learn to play the piano. I am just glad that I could play these chords and sing this song. God redeemed us and restored our relationships!

So many people helped my parents with everything and I pray for God’s blessings over each one of them! May God richly reward then for their kindness!

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If not for..

Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.

At times, when God leads us through troubled waters, our frequent question is, “Why is this happening? I don’t understand this!” If we are following God in the path that He leads, some of these troubled paths might even be for others to see that Yahweh alone is God. If not for the Red Sea on the Isralites’ route which God Himself told them to take, the Egyptians who taunted them and even all the other nations would not have known the might and power of our Almighty God. If not for Daniel being thrown into the lion’s den, King Darius and all of his kingdoms wouldn’t have known that Daniel’s God was able to keep him safe even in the midst of the hungry lions – which was meant to be a punishment strategy of that nation. If not for the fiery furnace that was raised seven times more than usual, for Daniel’s friends to be thrown in, King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon would not have known the God who truly holds the thrones of the nations. If not for the waters of Jordan being parted, the people of the surrounding nations’ hearts wouldn’t have melted in fear in regard to the Israelites.

So, keep heart, some of the situations that we go through might be just for our God to reveal Himself as sovereign. Rather than being tossed and turned by the waves, may we learn to rest in Him and keep His ways and He will come through mightily as a warrior. Amen!

Psalm 91:1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

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Just One Friend

Who knew today happens to be National Best Friend Day?!

Do you have friends who would open the roofs of heaven to bring down a deliverance for you, like the friends of the paralytic man in Luke chapter 5? Well, you are blessed.

The house where Jesus was preaching was overflowing with people. So the friends of a paralytic man tore down the roof of the house and brought down the paralyzed man and laid him before Jesus. Luke 5:20 When Jesus saw their faith, He said to him, “I say to you, arise, take up your bed, and go to your house”. Immediately he rose up before them, and departed to his own house, glorifying God.

Sadly, not everyone is blessed with such friends, like the man at the pool of Bethesda (John chapter 5). A great multitude of people with various kinds of diseases stayed by the pool of Bethesda, because it was considered a miracle pool. At an unknown time, an angel would go into the pool and stir up the water. When the water got stirred, whoever got into the pool first was healed from whatever disease he had. As expected, a multitude of sick people stayed beside the pool, with their eyes on the water so that they could get into the pool when the water got stirred by the angel.

Beside this pool, a man who had an infirmity waited for 38 years to receive his healing. Not a year or two, but 38 very long years!

Unimaginable, as for most of us, that would make the most part of our life till now. He had no friends or family who longed for him to receive a healing so he was there all by himself at the mercy of others to carry him to the pool when the water got stirred. His 38 years of wait says that there was no one there to help him out because everyone needed their own healing first. And once healed, they just left.

Into the hopelessness of his situation, the hope of all hopes walked in – JESUS! No one told Jesus about this man. The Son of God knew that this man was stuck in his situation for a very long time. And yet Jesus asked him, “Do you want to be made well?”. The man replied, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool”. Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed, and walk. And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked. 38 years of being stuck became history the moment Jesus walked into his situation.

Just as the man who had loving, caring friends, the man who had nobody also was healed by Jesus.

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Just One thing

Luke 10:41-42 Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled by many things, but one thing is needed. Mary has chosen that good part which will not be taken away from her.

Like Martha, the world pressures us into doing this and that to keep up with the rat race, while God expects just one thing from us – to sit still in His presence – To be still and know that He is God. Psalm 46:10. It isn’t easy to be still when we see others run around like ‘chickens with no head’ to accomplish “something”. It takes an enormous amount of faith to “sit still” when the world runs around crazily and makes us question ourselves if we are missing out on something if we sit still.

A lot of times, we finally come to the point of “sitting still in God’s presence” after being exhausted by unsuccessful running around. And we learn then that He was right about being still, as always. He asks us to leave our battles to Him and that He will fight them and most importantly, “win” them – unlike us who love to fight our battles, and then only to lose those battles. He says that He can fill the ditches with water even if we don’t see the wind or rain. He is Sovereign. He can do anything that He pleases. He has no limitations.

King David was also doing so many things. And then he had a very honorable desire to build a temple for Yahweh(2 Samuel chapter 7). But God said, “Not you, my child”. Yet God was pleased with David’s desire and God promised David with blessings of eternal kingdom. And what did David do when he heard that? He went and sat before God’s presence and humbled himself saying, “Who am I, LORD, and what is my family, to deserve such a blessing?“. And what did God do? 2 Samuel chapter 8 says repeatedly, “The LORD gave David victory wherever he went”.

1 Peter 5:6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7. casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

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The dreaded “bench”

Every now and then, life seats us on the dreaded bench- the bench that is broken, hard, uncomfortable, and with sharp edges. There is no one who is spared from it. Everyone gets their turn to sit on it. You are either someone who got off the dreaded bench just now, still sitting on it, or is about to sit on one. It is often a lonely place. No one would desire to accompany us on such a bench. No One, but Jesus! My Jesus! My Savior! My dearest friend! He is my everything! The One who took me out of the slimy pits and washed me off and made me clean and fragrant!

Isaiah 46:4 Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs, I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; Even I will carry and will deliver you.

Regardless of the kind of bench that we are seated on, God promised to be with us till we are old and gray, till our last breath! And He is more than enough!

When God puts us on a wait, He has a purpose. So many clouds of witnesses in the Bible who have gone before us can testify to that. Waiting can be painful and dreadful because of the uncertainty of its timeline and the outcome remains unknown.

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk, and not faint.

Abraham and Sara have sat on this bench for a long period of time in their old age, waiting for the son whom God had promised to them. Just as God promised, they received Isaac even when Abraham had to wait till he was hundred years old.

Joseph saw two dreams when he was seventeen. He had to sit on this bench through slave time and prison time till he became thirty before his dreams got fulfilled.

God told Noah to build an ark and to warn the people about the upcoming judgment thru the flood. He had to sit on this bench for a hundred and twenty years enduring the mocking of people. The flood came just as God warned and Noah’s family was kept safe in the ark which he had built obediently and diligently.

Rachel had to wait on this dreaded bench for a child while her sister Leah was blessed with many children. God blessed Rachel with Joseph and Benjamin – Joseph became the reason all of Leah’s children were fed and protected, while out of Benjamin came the first King of Israel.

Hannah had to sit on this bench just like Rachel. Her misery was so great that she offered the child back to God if He would bless her with a son. And God blessed her with Samuel who became the prophet who anointed the first two Kings of Israel.

The list goes on. All those who waited on God in faith and perseverance witnessed the promise-keeping hand of God Almighty!

1 Peter 5:6,7 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Has God put you on this dreaded bench? His eyes are on you, just as the refiner’s eye is on the metal being refined in the fire. You are in the process of being made as precious in His eyes.

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