Today is our 18th marriage anniversary. Life isn’t easy. Marriage isn’t easy. Parenting isn’t easy. Christian walk isn’t easy. It started at the garden of Eden itself. Till we are in this side of eternity, everything is hard because of our rebellion and disobedience before God.But by the saving grace of God alone, we continue to run the race, without giving up. We fall. We break down. We get bruised and wounded. We bear the scars. But Jesus is right beside us, walking with us, running with us, cheering us on, picking us up when we fall, and promising to see us through till the finish line.
I used to mark and make all occasions like birthdays, anniversary etc in our family special. As time went by, not seeing much meaning in all these rituals, like baking a cake, cooking special food, buying gifts hoping to surprise etc., this year, I did none of the above. Because I feel, more than any of these activities, walking according to God’s heart and not on my own fleshly will is more important.
I feel, marriage starts off in a nice biking trail which is flat and plain, and we whistle and hum along as we ride. As time goes by, the trail turns into valleys and mountain tops, and we have to catch and juggle lots of baggages thrown at us. Down the line, as we keep going, it seems like we end up biking uphill huffing and puffing, towards each milestone.
It is not just the spiritual walk that displays the invisible warfares for which we are asked to put on the armor of God everyday. Spiritual warfare attacks all areas of our life. Marriage is what God instituted as the first thing after He created everything else. So it is extremely important in His eyes. No wonder, the devil attacks Christian marriages all the time, especially when we mindfully strive to walk with the LORD.
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. If my spiritual walk was all about me reading the Word, Praying and walking with the LORD, it probably would not be as hard. But it involves all aspects of my life – marriage, parenting, workplace, my relationship with others etc. I am to bear the fruit of the Spirit in all these areas without taking a break. That would mean that I am supposed to be on a vigilant watch 24/7 for the schemes and attacks of the enemy of my soul. In my case, I have come to realize, the devil places hurts right before such occasions in my heart and gets my spirit downcast, which leads to self-pity, and my withdrawal from others, and moping in my hurt.
When I am hurt, in my flesh, I love to make others miserable as well. I would tend to withdraw from family, refuse to take part in any happiness and would recite in my heart about how I am going to act. But these days, by God’s grace and His Holy Spirit at work in my heart, I am a lot mindful about what Jesus would want me to do. If I do in my will, I know perfectly well what I would want to do. But, these days, I get reminded to ask,”LORD, this is how I feel. I am hurt in these areas. This is how I want to act on this occasion and make their lives miserable. But what do You want me to do? Because, what You want is more important to me than satisfying my petty grudges”.
As I started praying today morning, I started off with my venting out my hurts to God. The devil’s tactic is to make me feel unworthy of any good things, by whispering in my ear to not to accept any kindness shown towards me, and to withdraw from the family emotionally, thereby making them miserable too. A little into venting out in prayer, I realized that and said, “LORD, I give this day in Your hands. I know this much that if I hold this day in my hand, I will perfectly well ruin it. Would You show me what You can do with this day for me?”.
Prayers are mighty weapons, my friends! And prayerful friends are mighty warriors! My prayer friend texted me and asked if she can pray for me. I gladly said yes. As she was praying, I realized, if I keep the petty complaints aside, there is always so much to be grateful for. We look around us and see the many different and very difficult circumstances that so many people are going through. Compared to those, our little hurts are put into perspective. The devil wants to keep us in a complaining and a whining mode. However, may God help us to continually remember to thank and worship and praise Him instead.
My husband loves to buy gifts for me for special occasions. But I would feel so unworthy to accept the gift. Because I had asked God to help me to do the right thing according to His heart, as my husband mentioned about going out for lunch and to go pick a gift, I nodded quietly without opposing him. I put aside my fleshly will and yielded to choose peace. Similarly, Christ’s gift of salvation is offered to us freely, as Christ is always willing to redeem and forgive those who come to Him humbly and earnestly. The devil instead whispers in our ears, reminding us of all our shortcomings to make us feel unworthy. But Jesus has paid the price on the cross in an unimaginably painful way. So let us not give ear to the devil’s lies but with a grateful heart accept the free gift Jesus offers us with arms wide open.
Prayers are mighty weapons. Just as I asked God to take the day and show me what He can do with it for me, He did! He gave me a good anniversary day! I got to experience an instant reward from God. My husband and I picked up a nice gift for both of us which was for almost regular price with no discounts. But the shop attendant said that they can match the price with Amazon for 15 days. When we checked Amazon while being at the shop, there was no price reduction in Amazon. So we thought we will keep an eye for the next 15 days. We got home after half hour and we checked Amazon again, and to our great surprise, there was a price reduction for the same item, so together we saved a pretty big amount. To me, that was a reward that came from God.
Yes, the daily struggles would still continue. We would still fall, bear bruises and wounds and carry the scars. Love God and love others as yourself are the two greatest commandments. Loving God is even easier because He is always good and perfect. But loving people is not always easy because we are all imperfect and I am one who would love “my way or the highway”. We deal with imperfect people as imperfect people. But Jesus will still continue to be right beside us, walking with us, cheering for us, without forsaking us, and seeing us through till we reach and cross the finish line!! All glory be to Him alone!
Amen
