A very crumbled dollar bill

Isaiah 43:4 (NKJV) Since you were precious in My sight, you have been honored, and I have loved you.

Today is my birthday! From my young age, I had this habit of asking my Abba Father God for a birthday gift. My dad gave me good gifts for my birthdays when I was young. Growing up in India, gold jewelry made an expensive special gift for me, mostly every year. Though my birthdays seemed special at our home, the rest of the days were miserable. So, I started to look upon God as my Father as He is the perfect father.

I consider myself like a very crumbled $100 bill. In a few decades, I had no self-esteem left. As I couldn’t meet the expectations of my family, I felt like I had no value at all. If a dirty crumbled $100 bill is found in the garbage, people would still take it because they know its worth. 

So, what is my worth? Jesus, the Son of God, stepped down from all His riches in heaven, into this miserable world for my sake. Jesus, the Word, who brought everything into existence, came down as a humble baby, in a manger, in the humblest form so that the poorest of the poorest can relate with Him. And He lived a life with not a single sin for about thirty-three years, giving good news to the spiritually poor, freedom to the spiritually captives, healing to the brokenhearted and vision to the spiritually blind. That is my worth. The Son of God Himself came down to rescue me! The LORD of Hosts fights my battles and asks me to just be still and know that He is God! He covers me with His robe of righteousness and calls me “justified”. He paid for all my sins and gave me a clean note saying, “paid in full”. ELROI God who tells me, “Don’t worry. I see you”. He holds me in the palm of His nail-pierced hands. I am the daughter of the One True King! AMEN!

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Bruised Reed

Mathew 12:20 A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out.

Remembering my mom as today is her first anniversary of being with the Lord. I can only be grateful to God for relieving her from her miserable life. I am amazed by how she held on to God. I am just amazed by how she hung in there as the only person for a lifetime because even I wasn’t there for her. I am so thankful to God for giving me two weeks with her which balanced out the previous decades which were bitter and shallow.

God’s faithfulness gives me so much hope. One day, I will finish my race in Christ too. I am sure of that because my race is dependent not on me, but the author and finisher of my faith that is Jesus.

Jesus said, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Mathew 5:16

My mom’s light probably did not shine so bright, but God in His amazing grace did not let her little light be snuffed out.

God honored all her prayers. She had prayed all her life that she should not suffer from sickness. Within months of being diagnosed of cancer spread in multiple organs, she was taken away from it. She did not suffer a bit of pain due to such dreadful disease. How faithful God is!

The first and the last words she told me is “I am going to Jesus”.

The last thing she asked me to do is to read the Word for my dad everyday, just as I did for her. She asked me to buy a Bible with big letters for him to read.

She has passed on the baton to me now. Amazing how within a year, my dad’s redemption has become my goal. I have complete faith in the redeeming grace of Jesus.

I praise this God who taught me to forgive and to love the unloveable. Now I will be still and wait for His time of redemption.

My mom’s life looked bleak, downcast, lonely, looked down upon. That was her entire life of 73 years. Even I wasn’t a support for her. Her only refuge was God. She was drowning in the water her entire life and the only life-jacket she had was JESUS. And JESUS never failed her. NEVER! He helped her to finish the race in Him. He made me the witness to see His faithfulness upon her till the end of her life. He gave me the privilege to reconcile with her, serve her and lead her towards heaven in the last stretch. Now all I can remember is the two good weeks God gave me with her. Isn’t it amazing how God can remove the bitterness without a trace? He removed a lifetime of regret from me.

THIS bruised reed, HE did not break. THIS smoldering wick HE did not snuff out. 

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